ZombieTech 2000+ = iZombie, eZombie, and cZombie

Everyone's so frightened by zombies... OH NO! They've come to eat your flesh, drink your blood! Eek! Aaagh!
But all that was just a bad trip by someone from 100+ years ago whacked out on Lye, right? We don't have to worrie about Zombies today, right?

Actually ... They are REAL!!

Orange Zombie Green Zombie iZombies have been spotted all around San Francisco!!
Instead of eating you alive, they just look at you right in the eye and completely ignore you.
Unless you interrupt the machinery so they can go on their way.


And there's the eZombie, who without a keyboard is a tvZombie or a cableZombie or satelliteZombie depending on their setup.
They are harmless, but are so entrenched in their infotainment that they may forget to eat, drink, go to the bathroom, sleep, or move. Some eZombies can no longer have sex, but at the sound of a sporting event they are aroused...


Lastly, and perhaps the most annoying, is the cZombie. Also known as a pZombie, mZombie, or however they abbreviate their cellphone.

You know 'em, the folks that talk in your face to someone else, speak out loudly in public all the things you never wanted to hear, and so on.
Worse than the other zombies b/c they inflict radiation damage to all around, besides the atrocious sonic pollution.



With ZombieTech 2000+, Zombies are cured when their batteries die. I see this as a positive, although with modern battery capacities and quick rechargers we are seeing less down-time.
The one horrific truth about modern Zombies is you probably are one of them SOMETIME during your day, EVERY day!!
AaaaaaaaAAAaaaagghghgghgh!!

1 comment:

jenfaith said...

I'm a zombie, you're a zombie, he's a zombie, she's a zombie. Wouldn't you like to be a zombie, too?!?