A New Year -- 2011

A New Year 2011.  Visionary times!  I finally picked up & started re-reading "Awaken the Giant Within" - Anthony Robbins.  This is quite a book.  Change-maker!  POWER!

So my goals for 2011 =
  • continue healthy living (wink!), 
  • preproduce & tape my first feature length (scifi?  kung fu?  comedic?) video, 
  • deepen & grow the Lex connection, 
  • workouts (p90x? or whatever!), 
  • create create create & re-enforce support for the creative/creator REkzkaRZ (music, video, art, poetry, acting, dance, comedy, etc), 
  • keep helping my crew of heroic men (& woman), 
  • get my indie business off the ground, 
  • own more assets, 
  • manifest goals/visions, 
  • and push myself beyond my current limitations.
And that's just for January.  HA!  (Not)
This is not my first list of New Years Resolutions (but I think this is the first one I've blogged -- but then again, my memory is shot so it might not be the first), and I'm aware that resolutions do very little 'of themselves'.  Resolutions are a statement before an action, a declaration that "I am taking this path" rather than saying "whatever comes along I'll wing it" (but that is also true as well). 
ACTIONS are the key to progress.  Actions are the opposite of passivity (ie watching TV, listening to music, chilling out, getting wasted, etc) -- and actions create results.  (I suppose passivity creates results also...)
RE-ACTION 2011 -- more to come!
I invite you to post your 2011 New Years Resolutions as well -- with the implied commitment to *TAKE THE ACTIONS*!

Our paradigm is like a pair of dimes becoming a pile of twenty pennies

The Earth is going thru another fluctuation -- society's preparing to make an evolutionary leap forward.  Information seeks to become free (again).  Profit-makers will be forced to release their marked-up products from their profit-mongering schemes when people enforce their claim to their own 'Natural Inalienable Rights" again (rights to freedom, to food, to water, to shelter, to pursuit of happiness, to free flow of information, to share with their communities).
But talk and action are so different.  When things get bad, who will resort to violence?  Those profitting most from the current setup.  The evolutionaries will be the disenfranchised underdogs forced outside of the powerstructures, moving all of us forward into the future & forcing institutions to let go their white-knuckled grip on the copyrighted baggage of the past.
The paradigm of "don't ask don't tell" will be shattered like the paradigm of slavery and colonialism.  The paradigm of "homelessness" will disappear as everyone unites in a desperate class battle against the domination of the wealthiest.
Suddenly, people will remember the historic significance of despotic rule as the ethereal veil of the Democracy illusion fades -- and a corrupt Republic of the Richest and most Cruel stands revealed.
The 'Star Wars' fight of Rebels against the Empire transforms into a fantastical metaphor for daily life, as cloned zombie soldiers patrol the streets in armor and fully armed drone planes light up the skies, trigger-happy zealot pilots sitting in remote bunkers hundreds of miles away eager to drop bombs on their video screens.

Ooops, another Saturday when I had too much coffee & then a few cokes.  :)

Email to Pacifica re: Pacifica vs KPFA

This is the email I wrote Pacifica via this site: http://kpfaworker.wordpress.com/contact-form/ The KPFA Worker blogsite is chronicling the manipulation and corrupt actions being committed by Pacifica HQ vs KPFA.

Dear Pacifica,

I am apalled at the manner which Pacifica is forcing KPFA to obey a top-down hierarchical structure.
Furthermore, I believe your board is operating in the worst manner. Having spoken one-on-one with one of your board members, she was so completely focussed and obsessed with cutting the Morning Show and changing up KPFA entirely that she could not see any other alternative.
While I understand there are always political battles in organizations, I would ask you to set aside your petty bickerings and allow KPFA to manage itself and donate to Pacifica voluntarily, rather than Pacifica managing KPFA from afar and dictate things which are inappropriate for KPFA.
I have been a supporter of KPFA and KPFK for years. I will from now on be donating specifically with the request that none of my donations go to the Pacifica organization. I find the Pacifica administration (historically & now) to continuously operate against the best interests of radio stations, the talent, and the communities which support it.
Please send me a response to my email to confirm that someone has received it & read it. Please explain your actions.
I'd like an app for iPhone that lets me play CCG's (special 'collectible card games') on my iPhone.
Seems like something easy and doable, but it ain't done
-- except for Wagic.  But reviews say Wagic blows & it's a homebrew app.
Waiting for someone to make a useable 'play any CCG' app for iPhone.
How hard can it be???

a) Take 200 scans of cards
b) let people make decks of X cards
c) draw X cards for a hand
d) define a play area
e) let people play cards onto play area
f) have somewhere on play area to score points

And that's about it. Do we really need so much more?!?!?!

I'll play test it when it's built!  PROMISE.

A Big # Birthday

Aging -- getting some bigger numbers, yet still catching up to my highschool peers.  Interesting to see the number and look at myself and feel like in certain ways it doesn't line up and in other ways it does.

Mentally & emotionally I'm stunted & just catching up -- today I'm around 27-ish.  Physically I'm youthful looking & acting, but some days I feel those years hanging on me as extra weights.

But, it's 5:30am on my birthday and I'm going to focus on the positive -- I've had a LOT of good years!!  And the most exciting is that the best is yet to come!


Palm Sounds -- a great blog

Reactable Mobile

Palm Sounds -- a really cool blog that covers all the latest in mobile tech.
I've been testing out a lot of the iphone apps, and this blog has been giving me the latest & greatest stuff.

I wouldn't normally mention it, but the blogger said that if anyone is enjoying their blog, to post the link.  And I do like it -- a lot.  Hopefully you might enjoy something from them also? 

Just found out from them that 'reactable' is now simulated on iPhone.  Cool.

MegaMind movie - SUCKED

I saw MegaMind in 3D at a movie theater.  I wasn't expecting greatness, but I was hoping that something in it would be cool or neat or fun or something.
It was expensive @ $13 for a 3D film which didn't really use the 3D to do anything cool.  Disappointing.  I may not be the 'target audience' at 39 almost 40, but I saw MegaMind in a room full of kids. I laughed only 2x during the movie, the kids mostly laughed once. Behind me, a kid was so bored he got the foot tapping syndrome (right in my ear).  Kids would hate this multimillion dollar film.  I was wondering what audience was the target for this dud?
This film did not work in almost every way that Incredibles did work: No good action scenes, no exciting plot development, only a sad 'turn around' making the villain a hero -- which not only was not convincing but was trite and un-fun.
Pixar I've heard goes thru a huge amount of work to get the story first.  This film had a flawed story, namely that a villain turned hero is not that exciting, and a loser turned loser villain is not very exciting, and the hero abdicating to live a secret life 'free of responsibility' is similarly not exciting.
Which seems to explain why MegaMind 3D was completely not exciting.

cigarettes & infomercials

Someone left a pack of cigs at work.  I found it at 5:30am & I was smoking 2 cig's in a row outside the night job at 5:45am.  Wow, that was an amazing experience of addiction.  Well, I guess I'm back to kicking cigarettes again?

Also Armando Montelongo infomercial is on the air ~ 10x a day for awhile.  I read the reviews.  OUCH, it's a NASTY scam -- a 3 day seminar for people who are desperate to make money will cost $3k, and you can pay $25k for a drive around with Armando (if he shows up, apparently he doesn't attend all his seminars) to learn his 'system' which is basically buying homes on a credit card, borrowing money from a rich friend/acquaintance, or getting a loan (which most folks can't get right now b/c of economy).
Almost all of his suggestions are for Texas real estate market, but apparently can work in Florida.  In Arizona & California, many of the ideas pitched are illegal for these states (according to realtors who attended his workshop).
So, as my girlfriend says, don't believe the infomercials.
Another example of an apparent scam artist / nasty businessman who is attempting to exploit & steal from as many as possible before he gets busted & goes to jail for fraud.

That said, I'm still psyched on P90X workout DVD's and think that program isn't so bad.  Actually, there's a reasonable percentage of infomercials that 'aren't so bad' if you buy the stuff.  But so far, the only thing I've found that isn't widely disputed or hated is the P90X. 

I'm still googling any infomercial that I watch here.

Green-ocrats -- if we can't beat 'em...

This is a reprint of a email I sent to my fellow Green party members.

Green Party friends, & others reading my blog (rekzkarz.com)

Here's my latest 'radical' idea:

I'd like the Green party to intentionally 'spin off' a group inside the Democratic Party, similar in theory to the Tea Baggers, perhaps called 'Green-ocrats', who say clearly that they are Democrats who include the entire Green Party platform in their platform.

3 advantages to this tactic:
We can run very Green candidates in primaries,
We can exploit Democrat party funding and popularity, &
We can help pull Dem's (and the nation) to the Left.

I guess it's a strange idea, but we could call ourselves 'radicals in liberal clothing' or something humorous?

When Ralph Nader took money from the Republicans, he said it was bc the 2 parties were basically the same. I thought that message was good (despite it backfiring on him/us in the media), but there was another answer implied in his statement: the Dem's need to be pulled HARD to the LEFT to become differentiated.
Since the teabaggers strategy is working so well to bring out the reactionary Right-Wing lunatics, why not immitate their success?

Does cannibalizing ourselves and 'joining the sellouts' sound RADICAL enough to anyone?

*Fine point* - all Green-ocrats keep their Green Party allegiance EXPLICIT.


Peace - NOW

Ps: if ya can't beat 'em, join 'em -- & make 'em Lefties!

CNN vs Craigslist -- continuing biased, limited reporting

[I emailed this to CNN and posted this comment in Anderson Cooper's CNN blog listing the story, reprinting it here:]

Commenting against craigslist without discussing
the argument of "freedom of speech" is truly awful.

Child porn & prostitution is not the fault of craigslist. It's more a product of class war and capitalism without concern for the lower classes of society. Furthermore, stopping craigslist from freedom of speech weakens the USA and weakens the society.

The govt should protect the children & do something more intelligent with prostitution, like many Euro countries.

The real story is that by making prostitution illegal, prostitutes go to pimps for help & protection. The govt could take care of these women & not criminalize them.

Sorry, CNN, your 'objective' reporting sucks now and it has continually sucked on so many stories (like the peace marches before Iraq war, like the 9/11 evidence of 'inside job', like always calling Iraqis and Afghanis "insurgents" instead of citizens + never giving us even ballpark casualty estimates for the countries the USA has invaded).

CNN has a lot of room for improvement.

Dem's ask us for dough

The Dem's sent me a personal email asking for a donation.  I'll probably give something -- bc the Republicans are THAT BAD.
but I wrote them back a letter, which I've reproduced here:

Dear Barackobama.com COO & Obama-ites,

I'm a Green Party person.
The dem's always cave to the center, 
which is actually Right wing, 
& leave the real Left behind.
Then you ask us for money??

Did you know we are called ACTIVISTS
bc we DO STUFF?!?  Appeal to us &
you will get active, motivated volunteers!!

I'm willing to donate IF you take a hard line
on at least ONE Left Wing issue:
Open Primaries & debates to 3rd parties (ie democracy),
Cut military spending in half (esp during 'Great Recession'),
Commit to 90% alternative / renewable power,
Stop all KILLING in fake anti-terrorist (OIL) wars,
Resume 9/11 investigation & make Bush testify,
Impeach Bush for war crimes,
or commit to reparations for people with slave ancestry.

Why leave a big demographic behind &
suck up to corporations, ignorance, & fascism?

*Get Left* and I'll be there for you.

(I did vote for Obama in '08 & will vote
for him again in '12, but it would be nice
to have my vote count for the Left Wing
in my lifetime.)

sent via iPhone-bot

Netflix iPhone app -- OY

Well, the paradigm shifted & no-one told me!! Ha
NetFlix iPhone app w/streaming shows (IPTV) is now ... FREE.
App just came out, I highly recommend you dload it & watch endless TV.

I'm impressed - obv.

sent via iPhone-bot

Check out this application:

Chaos Rings review

Chaos Rings review

I want to like this iPhone game.  I paid $10 for it.  I like RPG's.  I like adventures.  People claim there is a story here.
The fact that the game has 3d graphics is nice, I guess.

But... gripes:
- 3d but it isn't really used.  You have a top-down run around for most of the game I've seen so far, and there are no camera controls (not that you'd need them anyways bc there's not much 3d action happening).
- the combat involves me clicking the same button combo repetitively, would love a 'repeat last' command.
- animation is 'dance' or move forward & back.  Guess this is like FF games?
- why are there buckets of stuff everywhere?
- why can i run back & forth I'm the same hallways & encounter more & more creatures?
- why do monsters drop chocolate?  Sounds like the wrong word.  Ha
- where is the 'inventory' screen with the doll?  The equip & inventory & gene screens seem like they couldve all been one clever screen.
- genes are kinda interesting, but WHY are we absorbing them?  Is this revealed in the story?
- char's can't jump, dodge, or move much.  Basically follow the path & try to follow a VERY awkward map.
- continuous 'fade to white' with same sound effect is just lazy programming.  I was annoyed after first 3x, now it's been hundreds of times.
- no options for peace.  All interactions are either 'click next for next pre-written line of bad dialogue' or *ATTACK*.
- killing hundreds of dogs, worms, monkeys, elephants, giant spiders -- anyone care that this sends a really bad environmental message?
- not a lot of non-linear that I've seen.

Personally, I'd like more 'strategy game' aspects and less repetitive animations & forcing me (player) to make a character run around a path where all options are locked in anyway.

It's a very pretty game w/repetitive sounds, creatures,  & gameplay.  Seems like it's 1, 2, or 3 baddies vs 2 'heroes' indefinitely.

Oh yeah, and you get new nicknacks & more chocolate.

And they never EAT the chocolate?!?!

I hope someone who reads this review hears my humor written into it? Bits not just a whine-fest, really.

Use your monkey genes, fool!


The poem of not sleeping

The poem of not sleeping
the mental pathways bend,
the body forgets basic functions,
the losses, albeit temporary,
have a sticky feeling,
deep in the bone, unleaving,
carved deep in stone, forever,
the illusion of time reveals itself,
the brief moment now become unending,
hanging in the air, in the breath,
the moment which should have ended
continuing long past it's given time...

A NOW which should be a THEN
so the next NOW can bask in it's glory
never arriving, and the NOW gone old,
staying too long and growing unwelcome,
disliked for it's dullness,
but unwilling to leave.

The unsleeping cannot shake off moments,
instead holding the time inside their eyes
like burned images on a TV screen
or the coarse diamond scars on glass,
a pattern etched into the form.

My spine unsleeping curls unstraight,
it straightens only with effort, and brief,
before aches and gravity conspire downwards
to force me into a hunched-over creature,
forced to focus on my autonomous hands
and the objects they schemingly hover over.

Hands which no longer do my bidding,
forming their own plans and not sharing them with me.
These hands wish to explore my private holes,
to clean and examine the smooth skin,
to rip imperfections, bumps, burst pimples,
to scratch boogers, yank rude hairs,
to scale the teeth of midnight fur.

Graveyard Shift Perspective at 2 weeks

Well, I've been working ~ 2 weeks graveyard shift 11pm-7am at a TV station, here's a few tidbits I've observed:

4-5am is a hard time to stay up.  Coffee works very well on me with occasional Coke or Chocolate to keep awake, plus I take a nap from 6-9pm before the shift, but there's still a wallop ~ 5am, almost like the ocean tide rolling in (Could it be the sun?  An electromagnetic wave?  A global pulse?).  Humans haven't really figured out WHY we need sleep, and no doubt some scientist somewhere is trying to figure out the cure for sleep, so for now I'll just theorize that we need time to run daily 'systems checks' on our hardware and software. 
Maybe at 4-5am the body's supernetwork says "hey, dude, we the cells in your body need to power down & start fixing stuff!!  So we're going to start making everyday things more challenging -- like reading, or walking -- and we're going to double the effect of gravity on your bones -- but we'll resume normal function as soon as you drop unconscious for 6-10 hours."  Right.

So, a bit about TV content:  start rant
Infomercials -- some are crap &rip off's, some are interesting inventions, & there's really no way to tell which is which from the infomercial itself.  However, apparently people need the following issues taken care of NOW:
  • Body -- destroy fat, rip those abs, get a super butt, hide fat under girdles to 'loose weight instantly', work out at home on strange machines or doing bizarre excercise maneuvers,
  • Women -- remove unwanted hair, make ugly wrinkles vanish, cover up female bald-spots, zap horrible acne,
  • Men -- preserve wanted hair, get a good shave, a good shower, a robotic massage, pain relief with electrodes or pills, make your thang bigger/better,
  • Meals -- make fast & cheap incredible food at home with various blenders,
  • Brain -- enhance or subdue certain qualities with various pills,
  • Wealth -- receive abundance by asking the universe (but with a special $90 method on DVD's to do it),
  • How to Live -- ask God (via Pastors & Reverends) what they should be doing -- & then pay for the info,
Watching these infomercials is like watching endless really bad scifi shows back to back.  I know it's affecting my brain.  Does anyone else sees this stuff as humor & parody of USA's society??? 
Now that I'm forced to watch so many, I see infomercials as both more critical of society than the Simpsons or South Park, and also a continuation of the long cherished art of the scam, the con-artist, the huckster selling snake oil to the ignorant public. Plus all the various payment ruses add insult to injury, like "free trial", or "return after 30 days", "only pay $29.99 today ... and then we'll bill you monthly", or "normally it's $500 but it's your lucky day -- you are in the right place and tonight, just for you, it's $29.99 -- if you call now".
My favorite infomercials are the ones that present themselves like a regular TV show with an audience and a host, and then they attempt to 'delve' into the product as though they are reporters digging out the hidden facts:  "Really?  Can it REALLY do this?"  or "But that's impossible, how can this really work?" or "That's simply incredible!  Amazing!  Fantastic!  And anyone can do this?"  WOW!
Even if any of these things are REAL INCREDIBLE INVENTIONS, if you order anything from the informercial phone numbers, it's probably asking to be targetted by all the most predatory businesses from that day onwards.

Religious zealotry - Now that I've watched 10+ episodes of religious-obsessive programming, I think it's interesting -- sort of. (Kind of like a medical student looking at a specimen or something?)   From my POV, it seems like these people are too obsessed with what happened to a guy 2000 yrs ago, and not interested enough in what's happening now, like that we could feed the world, that war is outdated & unnecessary, that we have an internet and a chance for global harmony, etc.

These shows are kind of interesting b/c this specific priest/Pastor says some stuff in Hebrew, and seems to think that now he's really got the core ideas b/c he can read them in Hebrew.  I wonder if he's considered that Jesus (Jehoshua) was a Jew, and that all the ideas Jesus was offering were framed with Judaism, so maybe it'd be a good move to discover Judaism?  Naaaaaaah
Sidebar: I did learn (not from this show, but previous inquiries -- most listed in Wikipedia on Paul) that Apostle Paul was the only one that hadn't met Jesus, who was not a Jew but a Roman.  As a Roman, "Paul confesses to having “violently persecuted” the “church of God” prior to his conversion."  Apostle Paul departed from tradition after he converted by arguing that Jesus' teachings could be disseminated to non-Jews who didn't have to observe any Jewish rituals or practices, but only had to believe in Jesus.  Paul of Tarsus -- this guy really messed stuff up!  It's like he got rid of the meat of the religion & replaced it with a fast-food substitute.
I've been surprised that I do occasionally like some of the wisdom these guys discuss from the bible -- but all of this obsession with Satan & 'the Number of the Beast' and so on is just sad.  It's interesting for me to hear them discuss why they support the troops & how war is ok in the Bible.  One pastor talks about how he'd like to put the peaceniks in front of the troops (was as though he didn't realize Jesus was a peacenik too -- which he probably didn't).  It's unfortunate that these supposed religious leader guys have missed the mark so greatly, reading moral fables as though they were factual stories.
The ONE positive of watching this 'fast-food religion' is that it re-enforces my beliefs in expanding world-views, openness to mysticism & spirit, belief in the living Earth/Sun/Universe, my complete lack of belief in any anthropomorphic deity, and lastly these shows remind me that most people don't know WTF is going on & lean on others for truth -- and these leaders also don't know what's going on, but want to make some money and lead the masses.
end rant

When you go for your dream, the world rises up to meet you

All around me, I see this is true. The Earth, a conscious creature (albeit perhaps not fully self-conscious - yet), attempts to help her component creatures to succeed in pursuing their goals -- which will ultimately help her as well -- but only after we start moving towards them.

So why is it so hard to go after my dreams?

Jumping off a cliff where you can see a net far below is REALLY frightening.

Now, how about jumping off a cliff where you can't see a net at all? That's even more frightening (even if you've got a parachute, although I've never base-jumped).

Anyway ... HERE GOES!
Let's make a feature film!

compARTmental LIVES

May Strangeness 2010 - job, partner, new hire, eyes, cancer

OK. I really would prefer that more bad things do not happen, at least for awhile. Pretty please? I can clearly see that some of the hard stuff I am causing, but others are just unpredictable life stuff.

Ah, where to start? I'll try something different -- I'll go backwards.
  • I quit my job.
  • I wasn't planning on it, thought I was having a moment of inspiration, thought opportunity was knocking -- but in retrospect, I don't think it was. I told the boss I wanted a raise and more hours, because she fired her main video engineer and it was either me or the new trainee. I'm experienced, knowledgeable, and skilled -- and she had been offering me extra hours for months (but I was working more and didn't want to cause negative fallout for my coworker). But the negotiations never really happened. She said it was impossible, there was no money in the budget. I said, 'How about we think about it over the weekend?' and left. As I walked out of the work-place, she chased after me. She caught me and said, 'I won't be changing my mind, so if you're certain you're leaving, give me your keys.' I did. While she & I were talking, I made the mistake of saying 'I was playing hardball.' I think that made her more upset.
    • I talked to a confidante about it -- he said I should call back & say I had over-reacted & still wanted the job (esp considering the economy & so on).
    • I talked to my g/f about it -- she said that I hadn't really wanted the job except to learn, that I had learned a lot, and maybe it wasn't the right gig for me. But, she also said that I could always try & patch things up also.
  • My boss fired my mentor and friend.
  • I was trained months ago by a really nice video engineer and good guy. I knew she was planning to fire him when she hired me, so I said to him several times -- be careful, she wants to fire you. She kept asking me if I wanted more hours, and while I did (do), I was unwilling to get the guy fired. I like him a lot, he's very knowledgeable, and I refuse to be the pawn in someone's 'game of revenge'. At one point, I told him 'be careful to not tell me everything or you lose your bargaining chips.' Just before she hired another video engineer, I told her I'd take more hours. I thought they had worked things out. She said she didn't feel she could rely on me for the hours.
  • The new hire was incompetent.
  • Then a new woman was hired to do video engineer work. We all knew there was only really enough work for one person (~30hrs), but the boss was determined that we train her. My friend & coworker kept saying 'this new hire is clueless', and he didn't want me to show her anything too involved. But I made the mistake and kept showing her how to do shortcuts & simplify hard tasks.
    • It was very clear to me and my coworker -- she was nice, but not getting it. So we tried to train her in ways where she would do the least amount of damage. Despite the complexity of the setup, the first day she took no notes. The next day she laughed and said, after I suggested she write things down, "I don't really remember much from yesterday, there was so much. Can we do that stuff all again & this time I'll write things down?"
    • The first big joke we had was when she could not use a hole-punch. She kept hole-punching things the wrong way, and laughed when the papers were all messed up. I gave her 'hole puncher training'.
    • The second laugh was when she was asked to do something on the internet on another Mac and she said, "I can't find the internet on that one." No, she couldn't use a Mac, and could barely use a PC. (When I asked her which she preferred, she said "I don't like Mac. We used Dell at home. My husband is an engineer, I don't really do computers much." However, the job requirements were clearly "Maintain and manage video fileservers, web streaming servers and Video-On-Demand server", among other requirements.
    • The third laugh was more bitter. The job is a video engineering job, where we record clips, edit clips, record live shows, and keep the station broadcasting. The new hire couldn't do anything in Final Cut Pro, but more than that, she didn't know what the T-bar did on a video mixing board. She didn't know how to operate a sound board. She didn't know the different between Program and Preview.
  • I was diagnosed with Pigmentary Glaucoma in my right eye.
  • I was concerned that something was up with my eye. I was saddened to find out that it's going to be a condition which can be prevented from worsening, but has already damaged my optic nerve. The doctor said I'll probably have it in both eyes eventually.
  • My friend's partner is suffering from terminal cancer.
  • While I'm going thru all this stuff, I know my friend is going thru a lot worse. Her partner of 20 years is diagnosed terminal, and while they were doing ok, the condition has deteriorated significantly. It's a big sad moment.
I need some time to process all this stuff. I guess I have this nice long weekend to do it.

FOUR TWENTY <-- has passed me by

Well, four twenty has passed. I went w/a friend to a 4:20 party -- lots of ganja smoking, eating, and some enjoyable electronic music. And more smoking. And more smoking. etc. Oh yeah -- I didn't smoke. Did I mention that yet?

The people were really cool, and (obv) the party was very chill. I was only really able to chat w/my friends, who weren't smoking weed, and one woman who's husband was getting really baked. Everyone else was fairly checked out -- but chill.

They handled their weed better than I ever did. That said, it was sad.

Parties where very few people are interested in meeting or socializing does not renew my love for humanity. It makes me saddened at the waste of spirit.

I am inspired by the incredible power in humanity, capable for good or evil. Capable to do wonders or nightmares. Capable of endless escape into fantasy, or grounding in a reality which is deepened by our presence.

Selling + Writing

Interesting times.  Motivation has resumed.
I didn't get either of the video gigs at UCB.  That hurts!

Working on ScriptFrenzy.org project, writing a complete 100pg screenplay in 30 days.
When two scifi TV shows (a Battlestar Galactica copy and a Star Trek clone) are 'traded' between TV networks with completely different production styles, hilarity ensues. The low-brow bawdy humor never stops as this movie parodies television in every aspect possible. Think Airplane! meets Network, with heavy sprinkles of Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica.
I could say more about it, but it'd probably be better to wait until AFTER April when I'm done writing it, eh?  Yep.  *HOWEVER*, please send in your contributed ideas & I'll do my best to get them into the script!  I think you can see the status of the project here (my account - rekzkarz - on ScreenFrenzy).

Also working on getting Earthv2.org up and running.  I'm really excited about it, think it's going to help the Earth in a BIG way -- and maybe me too.  That'd sure be nice.

Lastly, the 'selling' idea --  I signed up with Google Ad-Sense (You can see them on the Right -->)
and I have mixed feelings about it.  The reason I went for it is that Ad-Sense is supposed to search your content & find relevant stuff to advertise.  My content is fairly left-wing radical stuff, so people *including me* might find cool stuff advertised!!
Another reason I went for it is I need $$$.  I'm running out, and it's getting very apparent.  In fact, I built this button -- -- for Earthv2.org and probably should post it there too. DONE (altho this is a rekzkarz.com version).  If you want to give me a few bucks, send 'em over.

So WHY am I doing all this stuff to link my creative work to money?  My beautiful girlfriend strongly suggested recently that I 'aggresively market' my stuff more.  So I'm trying.  Personally, I'd rather focus more on CREATING things than selling, but at this point in our world money is the way we anti-socialist Americans survive.  Hopefully someday we'll find a more equanimitable way in the future -- but for today, that's the deal.  And to go on the record (again), I'm far more left-wing than mere Socialism, but Socialism sounds like a pretty good way to go
(So many Americans are bitching about socialism -- do any of them realize we are actively subsidizing the ultra-rich?  Would it be so bad to subsidize people so they have enough food & shelter, rather than subsidizing the multi-billionaires of the world?  Oops, I got in a rant here!   Me??  No way!)

I've considered making some 'sell-out' music, art, and videos ... and I think I can do it without really compromising any radicality that I have.  Just made a song with the intent of having a 'sell out' sound, but my g/f didn't seem to think it really fit in the mold.  Will post the song up here soon.

Screening The Driver, Ed Reed, Albany Bulb, *RANTz* - March 2010

4 Bay Area short films
Should be a fun night!

  • The Driver

  • Ed Reed:  A Jazz Singer

  • The Albany Bulb - a documentary

  • *RANTz* 
March 20th @ 8pm
1501 Washington Ave, Albany CA

I directed 2 of the films & worked on 3.

The Outer Net

A humorous dude at TV30 was talking about world facts.

He says, "I swear, there are no snakes in Maine. You can look it up on the OuterNet."

I love that idea.

If people use Google to reference the Internet,
my thought is that we use Oggle to reference the Outernet.

Have you oggled anything important today?

Overdue Emails - to old managers

I just sent these emails off to two ex-managers. I did it because I am healing myself and want to move on. I wasn't sure if I'd just 'save as draft', but I hit send.  Now I'm not sure that I should post this blog entry, but I'm going to (this is meaty stuff).  I hope this turns out for the best.  
To make this blog post, I removed their names as well as the company name.

Dear 'ex-manager who had me fired',
A lot of time has passed since the 'corporation' days. I've spent some time in self-reflection on the whole experience, and I owe you this letter.

You could have been an excellent manager; You are smart, well educated, have a professional style, and are a good speaker.

However, you really attempted to do a number on me at 'the corporation', and I don't feel that any of it was deserved.  I was an excellent employee at 'the corp', b/c I did a great job, all that and I have never 'gotten in line' with the masses b/c I'm an independent thinker AND a unique and creative person.

My take on the whole affair, years later, is that an apology is overdue.

As you grow in your life and continue to deepen as a person, hopefully someday you will realize that *the best* thing a manager (or anyone) can do is to assist people to achieve their best, and if they don't do things the way you want -- perhaps consider if your way might be wrong (or perhaps wrong for that person).

Despite attempts, I have not been able to become a conformist. (Believe it or not, I did try.) Today I can see even more clearly that, when we look at the functioning of a hand, the 'thumbs' are required to enable the 'fingers' to work effectively. No matter how hard a 'thumb' tries to be a 'finger', it will always be a 'thumb', and 'thumbs' don't blend in well with 'fingers'. However, remove all the 'thumbs' from the hand and it will never get a good grip on anything.

Hopefully you can get something out of this email.

I am writing this email as an amends to myself. You catalyzed a change in my career path that ultimately was helpful, however the manner in which I experienced it was not fun.

I did keep a copy of your 'performance improvement plan' on my wall for years -- it made me laugh.

May you seek what you find,
and find what you seek.


'Ex-manager who threatened me',

A long time has passed, but it has taken me awhile to fully let go of your impact on me at 'the corporation'.  Maybe you do not remember, but when you were a manager at 'the corporation', one day you came to my desk and asked me "How would you like it if I smashed all your stuff with a bat?"

Then you sent me an email apologizing, and then I imagine probably realized you had made a grave mistake because now the whole event was written/emailed/acknowledged that you had threatened me.  Awhile later, you returned and acted like you had only been joking the whole time.

When this all went down, I was already stressed at the time, b/c I was doing a job that really was not a great fit for my personality or style; but I am a very smart person and I can excel at anything I put my mind to.

However, your threat threw me for a loop for a long time.  It added greatly to my job stress at 'the corporation'.  I discussed it with a therapist and with a lawyer.  I considered suing 'the corporation' for harassment and abuse, as this was not my first experience of being singled out, and perhaps you know that I did file the issue later with HR.

Your threat was not my first experience of harassment at 'the corp', however it was the first time where I felt like I really wanted to do something nasty back to someone.  I'm grateful that I did not do anything physical to you.

Just so you know, I did do something back to you; you had asked me to fix something on your computer (and then left the room), at which point I hacked your computer open so I could access it remotely & I copied all of your emails and shared them with another person at 'the corporation'.

Frankly, I never did anything significant with your email except search to see if you were targeting me for a specific reason.  I did not find anything.

I'm writing you this email because I owe myself an amends.  I think you were unhappy at 'the corporation' (even though your pay was $160k base and $160k+ bonuses, which was quite a lot), and you allowed your stress to bleed out on people who you didn't like or that did not follow your style.  I have no idea why you threatened me.

Whatever the case, I've grown past the entire affair.  At the time, I managed my response to the best of my ability, which was completely holding back because I was concerned that my response would compromise my job.  If a similar issue were to come up again, the best option I could take, according to a lawyer and a therapist, would be for me to encourage the offender to act on their threat -- and then I would be legally enabled to respond in self-defense.

I hope you have come to realize that bad behavior inspires more bad behavior, and do not continue to act out your repressed anger issues on bystanders.

May you find what you seek,
and seek what you find.

Machine Screams enters the RPM Challenge for Feb 2010!

Make an entire CD in Feb?
10 tracks (or 35 minutes)???
Can it be done?

I invite you to join me on the RPM CHALLENGE for Feb 2010!

RPM Challenge Facebook Page

I am asking YOU, my musician friends, if you will contribute to my RPM Challenge project,
"MACHINE SCREAMS", and contribute your music to one or more songs?

What I'd like from you is a commitment
a) to commit to something (ie 1 track of bass, drums, keyboards, vocals, etc) on Track X
b) to lay down your track(s) on top of bottom track
c) to upload your separate track before 15th of Feb (or so?)

I'm envisioning the music creation could go like this:
a) 10 tracks (working titles SCREAM1, SCREAM2, etc), each gets a 'theme' & lyrics
b) I will post a basic MP3 version online (with a lot of blank spots & room to lay down your groove)
c) you can dload the MP3 version, pull it into your DAW (or similar -- even Apple GarageBand or any Windows audio software) and lay down your track, remove or overdo any track in the 'basic' (ie lay down a better beat, more interesting piano solo, etc). *If you don't have digital setup, I'm happy to record you on my portable setup or at my place on my basic home studio.*
d) you save your added track as WAV or AIFF & then somehow get it to me (via email or we post to 'dropbox.com' or similar site) by Feb 15th
e) I mix the tracks together, burn the final CD, and upload MP3's for you to share to anyone/everyone
f) I post a final mixtape to my blog, REkzkaRZ.com, (and later possibly SoundCloud.com)

If you contribute any tracks, you are in effect giving me all rights to that track. Please do not use any syndicated or sampled tracks from other artists, only your work.

I've never done this before, so if anyone has any pointers, please add them here as a comment?

** If you want to do your own project, please be my guest! Don't let me stop you. GO FOR IT!
This note is an invite to a potentially collaborative project, "Machine Screams". **

Posting this as a note on facebook as well.

Facebook security article -- Not very secure, or 'evil'?

I sent to an email to a writer on Gawker website,  re: Ryan Tate's Article on Gawker "Facebook's Great Betrayal":
Facebook's privacy pullback isn't just outrageous; it's a landmark turning point for the social network. Facebook has blundered before, but the latest changes are far more calculated. The company has, in short, turned evil.
Here's the email I sent to Ryan (which includes a comment I posted on his article):
I just posted this comment on the tail of your article:
I guess I can see why some might see this as 'the grand betrayal', if you want to take no personal responsibility for your data. But why would we all be uploading our info if we wanted to keep it private?
Bottom line -- if you don't want the public to find it, don't upload it to ANY social networking site.
I think there's something missing in this article about the concept of 'radical self-reliance'?

That was the extent of my response.
I guess I'm waiting for you [Ryan] to explain why this is 'evil' vs stupid policy or a bad move or 'money-grubbing' etc etc?
Can you explain to me how EVIL it is to say you are protecting people's security & then not doing it ...
vs the USA invading foreign countries, bombing countless innocent 3rd parties, assassinating suspects with drones, using BlackWater Agents to run secret missions in foreign countries, and to torture people suspected of crimes?
The issue for me is that you [Ryan] are chosing to mis-use a word to create hype.
Some might argue that, in a 2010 USA, that act is evil.
I would just say it's journalism that has forgotten the point of why journalism exists. Or, another way is to say ... bad journalism.
Have a nice day!

Revision3.com - application sent!

5 minutes ago, I sent off a resume to Revision3.com, an internet TV site here in the Bay Area that is chock full of exciting new content. They have an ad out for a Director of Programming, and that seems like a great fit for my skill set. I also tagged up the CEO's blog and also emailed one of the show producers to show how interested I am in working with them.

Synchronicity is running high right now at the start of the year. I feel in my bones that this year is going to be full of big moves for me, and that they will pay off.

I have worked hard on a bunch of projects in the previous few years, and hopefully will work much harder on the upcoming years. Money is not my goal, fame is not my goal --> my goal is to work and create incredible results.

I think Revision3 has a lot of excellent raw material already 'in the can', but my left-field type of thinking could really take everything up a notch. That said, I am not only focussing on working at that company (since I have not heard anything from them yet), but at any internet media company that is producing exciting content that takes the chance to deviate from standard TV.

At the heart of it all, it's an 'alt.' thang.