Magic, Grief, Loss, Resilience

Magic in Venice. Thank you God!
I love Venice Beach! Somehow the energy of LA doesn't affect it that much. The people swirl and steer the energy there to a higher level, and a deeper level, and in a more real style.

I guess it goes hand in hand with why I like Bay Area living? Comfortable, Left Wing energy where people pause and think, and get out and experience. They share vibrations...

I'm not sure I've been doing that a lot lately myself, but I'm bouncing. My Grandmother Diane passed away last month, and that was hard. I'm glad for her that she has moved to the next plane, b/c she wasn't happy often on this one ... but it's still quite a loss.

My grandmother has been very grounding for me, and very supportive and validating. She was perhaps the main reason for my resilience as a child, such as it was.

I was down, I grieved. I couldn't shave, could barely sleep, and felt some tears. But now grieving time has moved to remembering, and being inspired. The resilience has kicked in again.
I was writing at one time, "UNSTOPPABLE" as a mantra, but it's shifted to a new name "R.E. ACTION". That's what I see coming, some big actions.


The Royalty Hidden - Sir Bush and Sir Kerry

"There are no hereditary Kings in America and no powers not created by the Constitution." -- quote from a negative Judicial decision by U.S. District Judge Anna Diggs Taylor re: Bush wiretapping.

I just disagree across the boards on that one.

It's interesting how, just beneath the surface, there appear to be noble bloodlines running thru our democratically elected leaders... as this article about Bush and Kerry both having noble blood going back to Habsburgs & Queen Elizabeth.

It's interesting what Bush's priorities have been -- get the inheritance tax blown away, boost corporate welfare & cut taxes on the upper niche, cut social welfare spending and block new taxes.

So let's get rid of our King again! Let's get him impeached & jailed, b/c his rule is ruining the precepts this country was founded on!!!!

Republican party members -- 3 options

I just came up with this, but it's probably around somewhere...

Republicans are either -- evil, ignorant, or stupid.
(let's abbreviate with E, I, or S)

I argue this because of the Republican platform of issues:
1) anti-Gay rights
2) pro-War
3) pushing Christian family values on everyone, even non-Christians
4) save $$$ for the wealthy folks w/tax cuts
5) think the US is helping people in Iraq
6) like Bush as their President, some even think he's better than Clinton (!!!) And what's most amazing is that Clinton was up for impeachment for sex, while Bush can lie to Congress & Americans, torture people, and pre-emptively invade non-hostile countries (among other things) and there's NO IMPEACHMENT TRIALS!!! C'mon!
7) anti-social welfare
8) afraid of new taxes (as though that were somehow worse than the corporate bailouts, the oil subsidies, or the bloated military budget)
9) racism that's anti-nonwhites across the boards.

If you're poor, non-white, or gay and Republican, I wonder what kind of crack you've been smoking to make you betray the rest of the members of your group.

The saddest part is that Republicans block public education from staying at a quality level (by cutting $$$ and putting that $$$ to military, usually), and then poor ignorant folks actually vote Republican -- and screw themselves and future generations more!

It's the party of Propoganda, Fascism, and neo-Con = neo-Nazi in my book.

REkzkaRZ video on

Moving closer and closer to web2.0, from video to ... EVERYTHING!

I edited this video in ~ 30 min's.
It's not the best, but hey -- 15 min's! :)

The video has my music (namely song -- Selteeb) and artwork.

Video Surfing on YouTube

Youtube. Wow. I spent the whole day there yesterday (since work was really slow), made my own youtube site w/some of my own videos.

There's truly a TON of crappy videos on youtube, but there are some gems. Hard to filter thru the garbage...

I'm tripping on some amazing slow-mo stuff that I'd never seen before.
Here's an AWESOME clip of a water balloon hitting a guy in the head in slo-mo.

Also a few other sick vids...
Water Balloon popping
Slow Motion Glock

Trash Totem on

Video revolution ... almost here!

Trash Totem on is where we're heading. AWESOME ...

but I miss the slow old days of 30 min's of quality-ish programming. Now it looks like we'll be in soundbite mode while the digital TV medium evolves for awhile.

Oh well. :)

Sick Martial Arts

To paraphrase the site, "this is some sick ass martial arts."
Looks like the video revolution has begun... -- a GUI for

I hate Craigslist interface. It's not friendly and you have to click a lot.


Hope it lasts!!!

Dark Chomsky Lyrics

I posted my songs on\realityenhancer. It allowed me to type in my lyrics, which I'd never done. Powerful stuff! The following are the lyrics from the 'speech remix' Dark Chomsky.

The essence of Democracy -- you don't have to move far from the Cambridge Elite. Propaganda - conscious manipulation of the organized habits and opinions for controlling of the masses - the public mind.

How come people are deluded if we have the right to vote? And we MUST vote. It's the central feature of a democracy. I mean, these lies are glaringly obvious. It's the way to maintain power structures, authority structures, and wealth.

These aren't particularly subtle facts. Rhetoric. They must regiment people's minds as efficiently as the armies regiment the body. Everyone lies to people all the time -- first you convince yourself that its' true. We are so deeply overwhelmed by doctrine and propaganda.

If you go back to the origins of American society, it was founded by the principle that was stated very explicitly by the leading framer, James Madison, at the Constitutional conventions, that
You can't even think in other terms. That "The primary responsibility of government is to protect the opulent (the minority) against the masses (the majority)."

Obviously that's intolerable.

And the same is true about the masses calling for redistribution of property - nowadays we call that agrarian reform. "The masses have to be controlled (by ensuring that the rights of property prevail), they have to be controlled in the workplace, kept out of the public arena."

He recognized that it's a problem now, he was already concerned. "They're not going to understand the need to protect the needs of the minority of the opulent against the majority. They're going to have all these strange levelling impulses. They'll do all kinds of things which will mess the world up in horrible ways, make property more equatibly distributed. That's a danger. Equal distribution of life's blessings is a danger. So we've got to keep them out of the public arena somehow, and make sure it's just us smart guys. It's for their good."

But he said the danger will get more severe over time. Which is what the govt is all about - to interfere where they don't belong. To protect the minority of the opulent against the majority, to marginilize the disposessed, to interfere where they don't belong, like in the public arena.

He says that "We must not succumb to the democratic dogmatism about people being the best judges of their own interests. They are not. We are the best judges."

Private power is the tool and tyrant of government. It overwhelms it by its combinations, it's bribed by it's largesses. This is what the government is all about - lies and rhetoric. This is the industrial capital system of today. Propaganda.

RPGing does not mean "DeathGaming". Making a real "Pro-Life" Statement.

(This post is clipped from a letter to I wrote to the Troupe Berkeley RPG group.)

One part of 'gaming world' that really bugs me (as with TV & film):

> and when you explain you pop off bits as they get
> damaged, the hook is set and they GOTTA play.

I'm not critiquing THIS particular game -- I'm critiquing gaming in general (and also war-gaming).

Does anyone else feel like games that feature as a central component "DEATH" or vicious battling are perhaps in part responsible for American society being death-loving? This is in line with the Hollywood arguement of whether the increasing and explicit violence in TV/films is b/c of an increasingly violent society, or vice versa.

My view of RPG'ing is it gives me the chance to pretend to do things and be someone that I will not do / not be in my real life. Perhaps these things will influence me in my real life, however (build self-esteem, etc)?

Personally, I don't consciously seek violence in RPG's. I seek overcoming obstacles and having successes as an individual and for my team.
My biggest grief with modern American games is that much of the "game" parts have vanished, and all that remains is violence and destruction.

Doom and other "1'st person shooters" really defined a genre that makes no sense, but does help expand the militarization of the world. I'm constantly amazed (or is it repulsed?) that X-Box and similar consoles present 'pure' military simulations as games. I don't see most of these as games at all, but rather as lures to bringing young people into the military.
If they had any realism, if a player 'died' they would stay dead (and how fun would THAT be in a RPG?).

My interest in indie games is often piqued b/c so often 'violence rules' (ie hit points, damage, and so on) are not the main focus of the games, but more of a side-bar. In some indie games, there are no rules specifically for violence.
Indie games that I've played focus more on story line, character development and growth, and the 'conflict' and 'challenge' resolution system -- which can be between people, places, and things -- doesn't always involve violence or death.

It may not be as exciting or zippy in game-world, but for me the most intriquing magicians of fantasy are the incredible creators, the travellers, the communers, the healers -- and rarely the destroyers.

However, in American pop-culture, we put the hero who is the death dealer on a pedestal. Much of this comes from the Crusades (and prior) embracing of the soldier-hero concept.

Personally, while it's good to have muscle on your side in a RPG that's themed around lots of physical conflict and killing, who among us enjoys hanging out in reality with people that are like that? Real killers?

I love life.

I want to make a life-affirming statement in our gaming group. This might seem silly to some of you, but in the current US-Iraq war, they play heavy metal music to get the troups psyched (and scare 'the enemy') before sending them in for battle.

PS: I'm not pro-life as in anti-abortion. I think that line of argument is nonsense. But the "pro-life" concept has been stolen and re-packaged to such a degree that 'pro-lifers' can also be pro-capital punishment. (American life is nothing if not amusing!)

Olbermann Slams Bush -- Thank you!

Watch the link on Youtube. I'm hoping this starts an onslaught, b/c Bush is not legally elected and is not responsible for many positive things happening in the USA today -- and I want him OUT!!! Impeach him, America!!!

ThreeWaysMedia Music update

I updated my ThreeWaysMedia Music Website with my newest and most original whacked musical compositions (under THINK).

I'm planning to release a CD this year called "THINK" by R.E. with these tracks and a few others. I hope you'll check it out and tell me what you think, feel free to download MP3's & circulate to friends if you'd like.

On Marketing by sending Friend Requests on Myspace

After reading this interestingly argued position IN FAVOR sending friend requests on myspace as a legitimate form of marketing, I ranted the following (below):

I'm happy to be the first to disagree, but only in part.


Here's my personal angle on it --> Perhaps the concept of 'friend' is morphing b/c of myspace friends (or whatever virtual community network) as target market potential.

Whatever TOM's original idea, the issue is more HOW do I (the user) want myspace to work for me?
I use myspace to keep in touch w/friends, meet new people (occasionally), and look at billions of faces & trip out. I do NOT use it to shop or anything like that.

I think that anything that helps marketing/advertising for the little person vs the big megacorps is great. REALLY. I also like Yahoo 360, except I've only met prostitutes on there -- and I've got nothing against them either, esp since they're just doing the marketing thing as well -- but I'm not doing the marketing thing there just yet. But the question is -- are you HASSLING me?

I'd be more comfortable if you made your profile = your book, and just go market the 'book entity' to others not w/friend requests but w/messages/email to sci-fi fans. By sending me a PERSONAL friend request, and not a message from the book entity saying "Hey check me out!", I feel it IS misleading and it IS spam.

I'm wondering why no-one defines spam here?
What is spam? --> unsolicited email. PERIOD

I wish you great luck w/your book and hope you exploit this obviously busted myspace network.

And you ARE clearly spamming. If someone says you're not spamming, perhaps they don't know what spam really is? I don't recall asking for your marketing of your product, did I?

My fav part of your writeup was you using the software to spam the myspace network -- did you REALLY care that it was an exploit? That it was violating terms of use?

There are articles now about people who have gotten 10k+ friends on myspace who are being paid to market things and do commercials. So bulking up your fake-friend lists is going to pay, i guess.

I think what's most disappointing is that 'market driven capitalism' in the USA invades all spaces and takes over everything, including the culture itself. (Just look at your t-shirt, your computer, your music, even your porn!) Everything, even the music that rose from counter-capitalism, counter-white aryan nation, and counter-culture (ie Reggae/Rap/Punk/Electronic/Metal/Grunge), gets absorbed so fast and productized/commoditized that people barely have a chance to absorb it.

If Public Enemy records can go PLATINUM ... and not ever get put up on the radio, there is clearly a power in the non-radio non-TV word-of-mouth world.

Which brings me back to SPAM --> yet another way to inject a viral marketing scheme into the social fabric. I hope people remember that too many viruses can weaken and eventually KILL the infected host...

I suggest everyone begin virally marketing earth-positive and life-positive concepts, such as:

Triple Green Bottom Line in Business = People, Planet, and then Profits

Your Dollar is stronger than your Vote.

American Capitalism 2006: Afer years of giving our financial power to a wealthy class because we were supposedly not intelligent enough to determine our nation's ideal course, we are just starting to feel the impact of their poor decision making and an unstoppable selfishness unfettered by morality.

The Corporate Wars have begun. Are you in one, or are you no one?

Slavery hasn't ended, and the much needed reparations haven't started.

PEACE is not optional.

and with that, I'm out. -- in effect!

Firefox -- how I use it

If you use Firefox, I can recommend these extensions:

All in one Sidebar (gives a functional sidebar)
GooglePreview (puts preview pics into Google searches)
ScrapBook (allows Notes & complete ripping/archiving of websites for offline viewing)
FireFTP (FTP manager integrated)
Session Manager (save multiple tabs of webpages into 'sessions' <-- core Opera technology)
TabBrowser Preferences (modify tab functionality)
MouseGestures (mouse moves alone can control browsing)
TabMixPlus (makes tab browsing better)
KeyConfig (to remap KB shortcuts)

And I'm adding more daily, like today -- just while writing this, I added TabSwitcher (simpler keyboard control of tab movement), Advanced Dork (Adds in some easy Google adv'd searching), Clippings (stores commonly used text) and KeyConfig extensions.

I finally moved to Firefox w/reluctance after upgrading to Opera 9 from Opera v8.5. I've been a contented Opera user (I really dislike Microsoft IE, which I fondly call Macrosoft Internet Exposer) for years now, and I paid to register Opera a long time ago, but v9, for me, sucked.

Problem --> Opera kicks ass with a lot of beautiful integrated features, like:

  • Awesome bookmarks w/metatags

  • Great download tool which starts downloading IMMEDIATELY

  • Sidebar with bookmarks & useability

  • Tabbed browsing -- on steroids

  • Integrated search engines

  • Zoom controls, style controls, 'fit to page' button, and picture on/off controls

  • Remembers 'sessions' so I can start w/a bunch of page tabs loaded

  • I never get a virus

So my mission has been to get some of Opera's functionality into Firefox, which I do like, but it's not like Opera in many of Opera's more graceful ways.

So far, I'm getting closer -- but not there yet. :)

OREGON roadtrippin' - Portland & Florence Aug 4-13th

This post is more of a journal entry than anything. If anyone reads this, I hope they get something out of it! :)

It's 12:20am on 8/12 (Fri/Sat 13th?) and I'm blogging. I'd rather be at a party I was invited to, but had to skip it b/c my friend had a well-timed headache (he's shy) and wanted to go home. After getting annoyed, I drove us both back to another friend's pad 15 miles outside of town -- and then his headache amazingly cleared up (after he surfed the net for awhile). Oh well. Somewhat frustrating.

I wanted to go to this party, but I didn't. Sometimes, it seems like FATE steers me around this life.

I had a printout of housing listings in Portland that I wanted to investigate. I'm on the way to check 'em out, but stop to grab some food. We pull over at Cricket Cafe, and across the street is Portland's Alternative Realtors! So we grub, I pop in, and for that day & Fri I'm driving around with a great realtor looking at places in my price range -- but not within my taste. I'm really ready to buy something, but nothing looked do-able. DAMNIT!

I'm so tempted to force it, but that's just foolish. The right thing will come if I wait ... and keep looking, keep putting out energy. And now I know the neigbhorhoods and the housing market here better. I just don't want to see everything zip by like Astoria did -- but apparently the housing market's about to dive so it doesn't matter anyway!!

On Monday, I found out that our local director was fired. I'm a bit sad at the firing, but I'm not sad that he's gone. He did me very little kindness while he was around, and I'm happy that the end of an era has come. He was ineffective, insulting, and a poor leader, but he was relatively benign as far as corp managers go. Where I work, I've seen some AMAZING jokes in management positions, so it pays to keep my eyes open!

An old friend & former coworker suggested I take this time to move my desk to the hidden areas of the company & quietly 'fall off' the list of visible employees on the payroll. I laughed about it w/him, but can't do it. I mean, it's a funny idea in theory, but in practice easily 1/2 of my actual job at this point is just showing up, so I want to do that part. Damn this work ethic!!!

This last week of seeing a bunch of friends, their children, and reuniting with old friends has been a great emotional boost for me. I have really done well in my life, picking great people to walk with ... for periods. I hope at some point, things will stay more consistent with SOMEONE, but I am the wanderer, in general, and I blame no one.

2 big lessons of the week:
1 - Glad I have no kids right now, it's so much work & commitment. CLEARLY the relationship must be stable & supportive for a good environment to raise a good healthy child.
2 - It's OK to be single for a period of time, and allow my energy to re-center in myself. While I might date soon, I will not 'hook up' too soon in an LTR. It'd be too easy to fall off balance. The balance fulcrum needs to return to my core center for my life to move. It hasn't been there for awhile now... EXCITING!

Last comment re: war in Israel/Lebannon and war in Iraq. A friend 'challenged' me and said, "Are all your shirts anti-war? We're in there now, do you think it's so smart just to stop fighting and leave?" I was glad he asked the question, bc I had to think about it.
And I still like my response, which was (paraphrased) "I'm opposed to this war, as I'm opposed to all wars. War is not an intelligent way to deal with disagreements anymore and it's unacceptible to me. It runs counter to my 'religion' which is basically to worship the sanctity and beauty of life."
I don't believe 2 wrongs can make a right, and war is a thousand wrongs making more bad karma. The USA is unfortunately now just starting to reap what it has sewn with slavery, extermination of native peoples, disrespect for plants and animals and environment, and world domination/exploitation. While the winners do write the history books -- and tend to suppress the truth, their biggest weakness is the truth of the past. And truth does reveal itself in big ways at crucial times.

I oppose all aggression against life, and that does include oppression and exploitation along with warfare and general one-on-one violence. I believe the beauty of the human challenge is we have potential for both, and we have to decide our actions based on logic, intuition, and faith.

What will we choose for our tomorrow? What will we choose for our today? What have we chosen for our past? The future can and will change the past and present, and our choices today shape everything. NOW is the most important of all moments. And NOW is the time for PEACE.

New links -- Blogger Govt Search + Awesome Freeware/Shareware list

Firstly, the Google US Govt Search Tool
Let's you search the US Govt, not vice versa -- the govt can already do that!!!
Check out Echelon, the info hub that scans all international email, phone calls, and more...

Secondly, the cool list of freeware/shareware stuff posted on the UBCD for Win site -- Universal Boot CD for Windows, that is.

As for me & the world, today's July 27th, and I'm growing thru life. Not always the easiest times, but powerful force in my life are rising to support me getting thru a hard time. THANKS LIFE! (And thank you, my friends!)

Wars are breaking out around the world, and the USA has (IMO) lost credibility as a peacemaker/peacekeeper. I'm not really sure if peacemaking is the US Policy since 9/11 and Bush the ChickenHawk's Presidency. What happened to DEMOCRACY in this country? It vanished so fast...

Homelessness -- any solutions?

When I'm walking around SF and I see the overflow from the bars, and beggars are asking for some change or a buck & everyone says 'No' as they drink their $4 beers or their $6 cocktails, I often marvel at the peacefulness of the homeless folks.

Frankly, if the sides were turned and I was the guy begging, I'd be begging with a weapon and I'd be taking the money.
Maybe this is why I'm not homeless?

I was tempted to write a script about a guy that drives into the worst of LA & gives the homeless weapons -- guns, stunguns, mace, baseball bats, and says to them, "You have asked and they said no. Now you shall take what is due you." Haven't written it yet.

A Right-Wing coworker once said that he'd personally be willing to pay $1k more in taxes a year to resolve the homeless problem. I think he sees homelessness as a VISUAL BLOT type of problem, obscuring the view type of thing, but regardless I did consider that idea.

I wonder if EVERY right-winger would pay $1k to end homelessness, I bet we could get some $$$ up, and just ask 1000 and buy a plot of land and let homeless people live in shacks there... Probably wouldn't work. What the hell do I know. But what an idea for a story, eh? :)

Independence Day 2006

12:23am on Tues night (Wed) July 4th, 2006.

End of relationship. Fiance moving out. We've had rough patches going on for awhile now, did the whole 'counseling thing' after some really hard times, but it wasn't working out. So now we're going back to single. Wow...

The pain inspires lots of pithy observations. However, since delving into this SUBJECT in a public medium is taboo b/c it's so personal, so I will still do it -- but I'll keep it vague enough and just say things relevant to myself ... or humanity as a whole. HA

  • Love feels AMAZING at first, and PAINFUL at the end. The pain is so intense and unpredictable that it's impressive that no visible physical damage has taken place.

  • On a breakup the darkside 'third person' voice starts talking to me, regardless of my life-successes accumulated so far, saying familiar phrases of teenage years: you are worthless, you'll never have a relationship that can work, you'll never have a family or children, why don't you kill yourself, loser, and do the world a favor, you are an idiot/fool/dick/jerk/loser/ne'erdowell/wuss, you don't deserve to succeed in your dreams, and so on.

  • The expectation of a long-term relationship ending, and the awareness of that life-branch disolving in front of me like a vanishing smokey line, is the core of the pain. If I could just stay in 'zen' mind thinking only of today, the pain would be less.

  • These severe types of pain link to character building and growth. The more I try to ignore, distract, divert, or avoid the pain in unhealthy 'denial' ways, the less growth I will gain. "NO PAIN NO GAIN!" ... damnit!

  • Sharing this time with friends can ease the sensation of pain for hours while I still remain with the feelings and awareness.

  • Sharing this time with parents tends to both not ease the pain, and I get annoyed b/c they want to vicariously understand how I'm feeling.

  • All my patterns (and I have very few anyway) are thrown off, including eating, sleeping, shitting, meditating, praying, thinking, reading, any hobbies, and work.

  • Women suddenly have their magical charm back, in full force, perhaps even more full b/c I'm happy to have a distraction. The trick at this point is to engage but not engage further than is healthy for me right now.

  • My 'game' is off. In fact, I have no 'game' b/c I can't imagine bringing someone into my life right now, or screwing, or even kissing. I don't recall a time when I had no game like this before. Part of my personality is flirtatious ... altho I did still flirt with the hostess at a restaurant, and a government worker. I guess my game is just weakened.

  • I'm taking major strides towards life goals all of a sudden, and suddenly feel very open to possibilities I hadn't considered. (Got my biz licenses yesterday, and was considering getting an MBA at a DeVry affiliate.)

The trick for getting thru this time letting the time pass, trying to treat myself well, trying NOT to placate the pain with TOO much numbing activities, and letting my friends be supportive. And of course, a little extra reliance on my Creative Connection to the DIVINE.

All this shows me more clearly that DIVINE= PEACE= LOVE= CREATION= SERENITY= ABUNDANCE. I recently figured out that what problems I've been having indicated that I need to OPEN MORE FULLY to LOVE in all it's forms. I thought I was open to this, but can see that giving the F-U to Republican coworkers and a disorganized corporate work environment is perhaps not the most effective LOVE message. I'm aiming to move more towards Gandhi's style, with the thought that I can show these people a better way and they probably want a better way too b/c they can see this doesn't work.

Conversely, SELFHATE= VIOLENCE= ANGER= DESTRUCTION= FRUSTRATION= LACK , which are all areas that humans generally don't enjoy focussing on, but haven't received much training on how to avoid these pitfalls... and the answer is focussing on their opposites, above.

Had a brief talk w/some friends about how culture lacks good guidelines/suggestions for behaviors today. In the past, culture suggested (albeit strongly) to abstain from sex before marriage. While today this kind of lifestyle is fairly limiting, it still has a bit of merit b/c followers will avoid STD's and keep abstinant until they find their suitable partner.

But what's needed are REASONABLE suggestions for lifestyles coming from the culture itself (not 'experts' on TV shows) that show examples of health or positive self-treatment, like:
After a bad breakup, it's best to take at least one month and possibly up to half a year off of relationships. This time can be used to healing and self-reflection, and allows people to reconnect to friends and family more deeply as they reground themselves. This time is called the 'love coccoon'. And then maybe we could see examples of people doing this, either in entertainment or politics or film/movie/TV?
But instead, some Satanic marketing major decided that what viewers MOST need to consume is conflict and bad examples. So that's what we get, not good examples. At least the medias' myopic viewing of life leaves a lot of opportunities open for the future generations... If the future generations have the mental stamina to handle the barrage of mediated thought sending negative messages of how to act/behave.

Last comment -- maybe Bush doesn't want to end Global Warming b/c he's trying to help bring about the end of the Earth? The end of life? Judgement Day / Armageddon? I mean, doesn't his religion argue for this to come about? Isn't it just GREAT to have leaders that are inspired to pursue ... DEATH?

Online Dating - my The-ARI (theory)

Online dating summary, for me:
  • I've emailed to a bunch of mysterious & interesting picture-people,
  • Met a number of people I would NEVER date,
  • Dated a few people a couple times,
  • no 'magic' yet.
My last housemate married a woman he'd met online.
They seem like a perfect match. Met on in fact.

My biggest success online dating:
I met my ex-fiance while waiting for a 1st blind date with an internet woman. HA HA
That's all far behind me now, but it's a good story, no?

So far, no luck off the 'net, but I keep looking.
I think it's bc:
  1. I have high standards,
  2. I am a unique character,
  3. I seek a unique character,
  4. I am in no way desperate,
  5. I am healthy, intelligent, and upbeat in my life
Who knows, maybe God has wanted me to remain single this long b/c I've got other things I need to be doing? Or maybe it's my desire to never get divorced after I get married?

I keep trying tho b/c I'm very optimistic. Dating for me is like finding the diamond in the pile of coal. Just b/c I've hit 95% coal online doesn't mean my diamond isn't out there.

Maybe I'll meet her online, or offline. Doesn't matter. I don't worry, she will arrive. But I make sure I put the vibe out that 'she' is wanted and I am making a place for her.

Conservative of what, and Neo-Con Fear Tactics

So just what are Conservatives so busy conserving? Have you ever thought about it?
The name Conservative, to me at least, implies 'calm, steady, reserved, wise'. Someone who takes careful and deliberate actions.

However, the policies that today's American Neo-Con groups push for are always "white domination over color, wealth domination over poverty, male domination over female, and American domination over the rest of the world".

So I ask you, what are they conserving?
My answer -- the Roman Christian Empire.
If the Roman Empire really fell, they want it to back.

Frankly, after I graduated from UCSD in '92 with a BA in US History, I felt like I'd discovered a truth: that the Roman Empire never fell, it just 'went underground' rebranded as Christianity, and that the Roman Christian Empire is still growing today, expanding & conquering.

Some may say this is more paranoid ravings from a whacko conspiracy-theory obsessed Jew, but let me ask this simple question:
Why do successful American men shave their faces in society?
Where does the American obsession with youth, the obsession with newness, and the need to express virility by penetrating or dominating any nearby unlucky entity come from?

Let's talk about Neo-Con FEAR Tactics
Fear is important to be discussing right now b/c the Right Wing Neo-Con govt shows their expertise at manipulating the people thru fear. It's amazing how effective it is.

I love in Michael Moore's 'Fahrenheit 9/11' there's a scene that shows how afraid a nowhere town in the boonies was of getting hit by terrorists. It was impressive.

Anyway, so my point is: I think everyone should read '1984' by George Orwell.
There are pieces of the modern day puzzle that are so clear after I re-read that book a few months back. It's all outlined there: double think, propagandism, crazy slogans like 'war is peace', and then Goldsten (cough! Osama Bin Laden!) as the former ally-turned-traitor that can never be caught but allows all of fundamental human rights to get tossed out the window over security concerns.

I'm somewhat concerned that it looks like the Fascist Neo-Con Think Tanks read the book and are using it as their game plan.

I re-posted and modified this from a comment I posted on Noreen's Blog Commentary on FEARISTS.

Stephen Colbert Roasts Bush

Did everyone see the Steven Colbert 'Roast' of Pres Bush? CLASSIC!!!
Right & Left alike will surely get a chuckle. You gotta admire the cojones of this guy!!

All the direct links I had are gone, except Democracy Now's re-broadcast in RealAudio.

Why do I continue criticizing the USA? B/c I'm a citizen of the USA. I believe it is patriotic to be outspoken in criticizing my country when it makes huge mistakes. Maybe other people have different ideas of what constitutes patriotism?

I admire Michael Moore, John Stewart, Amy Goodman, and now Steven Colbert. I think they have guts and are very brave people. I think they are truly American patriots.

I am not saying they don't 'spin' things as well, b/c everyone does (I learned that BIAS is a constant in studying US History @ UCSD).
I do like when the facts make it thru the bias.

Will we ever know the 9/11 truth? (

Could be mere conspiracy stuff, but these protestors impressed me when I was in NYC. I snapped these pics in March 06.

Click the pics for larger images

Was the WTC

Why are the stories about
the 9/11 terrorists so bizarre?

Different Bin Ladens?


Protestors at the WTC

I think there's too much weirdness around the whole 9/11 affair, like G.Bush sitting for 7 min's while the USA's getting attacked, flying the Bin Laden's home while all planes were grounded, immediately saying that now the USA has to go after Iraq, or the lack of evidence of the plane hitting the Pentagon.
I mean, I don't trust Bush at all. Why should I?
A highschool acquaintance said, "Do you REALLY think G.Bush was complicit in the attacks?"
My response: While Bush is clearly incompetent and hijacked 2 US elections to achieve the office of the Presidency, I have no direct evidence that he was complicit -- however, I think he KNEW they were going to happen and he was on vacation. Or perhaps he deliberately allowed it to happen, since he knew he would have far more influence as a 'war president'. A guy who clearly breaks the laws often (Florida election, AWOL, no-bid contracts to Haliburton, etc) seems more likely to do it more often -- especially if he gets away with it so often.

What G.Bush is for me (and much of the USA) is a humiliation, a sign of the collapse of the USA, and a strike against freedom and truth across the Earth. And those are his aspects w/o considering any conspiracy theories.
Impeach Bush .org!!!

ZombieTech 2000+ = iZombie, eZombie, and cZombie

Everyone's so frightened by zombies... OH NO! They've come to eat your flesh, drink your blood! Eek! Aaagh!
But all that was just a bad trip by someone from 100+ years ago whacked out on Lye, right? We don't have to worrie about Zombies today, right?

Actually ... They are REAL!!

Orange Zombie Green Zombie iZombies have been spotted all around San Francisco!!
Instead of eating you alive, they just look at you right in the eye and completely ignore you.
Unless you interrupt the machinery so they can go on their way.

And there's the eZombie, who without a keyboard is a tvZombie or a cableZombie or satelliteZombie depending on their setup.
They are harmless, but are so entrenched in their infotainment that they may forget to eat, drink, go to the bathroom, sleep, or move. Some eZombies can no longer have sex, but at the sound of a sporting event they are aroused...

Lastly, and perhaps the most annoying, is the cZombie. Also known as a pZombie, mZombie, or however they abbreviate their cellphone.

You know 'em, the folks that talk in your face to someone else, speak out loudly in public all the things you never wanted to hear, and so on.
Worse than the other zombies b/c they inflict radiation damage to all around, besides the atrocious sonic pollution.

With ZombieTech 2000+, Zombies are cured when their batteries die. I see this as a positive, although with modern battery capacities and quick rechargers we are seeing less down-time.
The one horrific truth about modern Zombies is you probably are one of them SOMETIME during your day, EVERY day!!

Ode to RPG's

I love RPGs (see Wikipedia if you dunno what I'm saying).

I'm always looking for gamer groups. When I get in a good one, I move away soon after by some chance of fate. Unfortunate.
Shared fantasy is an excellent high, as those who've tried it know. Comparing TV or movies to RPG'ing, I'd say the fun ratio would be something like 100 vs 1, perhaps more. And why?
On TV: viewers watch someone's conception of a character do something and sit passively and observe. Even AMAZING TV consists of this.
In RPG: players listen to an description of a time-space and a scenario. Often plot points are hinted at by a GM, but not fully revealed. Players co-create the game with the GM by pursuing what interests them or their characters. Generally all parties are surprised by the results, and can laugh later about an adventure which they took part in -- together AND in their minds. And ultimately, what is life but what we remember in our minds anyway?
The worst of role-play gaming, for me is very close to miniature war-gaming. I'm a peace-loving person, completely anti-violence. When I roleplay, I want conflict and tension for excitement, not for body count or gore. And the main focus is ACTING and PRETEND, not killing and destruction.
I feel the game tension is often in my character's survival, and often just them being true to themselves in uncomfortable situations. The focus is not in the massive destruction of my character's enemies.

Now a tribute to my favorite RPGs:

ShadowRun - Tolkien fastforwarded to the future, but this time multi-racial people count. The corporate takeover is complete, and a non-euro race successfully breaks out of the empire. Plus magic + matrix + cyberware, and some great slang that includes some actual Japanese.
Cyberpunk - Grit and tech.
Mekton - a classic where you basically do future stuff all for a chance to hop in a giant robot and fight. I always liked all the other stuff, but 90% of Mekton players just want to get in the Mech!
Traveller - non-humanoids have a chance in this space exploration classic. You don't HAVE TO kill everyone, interact, or fight. You can explore, trade, and solve mysteries while seeing amazing places.
Star Wars - Jedi vs Empire, or play rebels, pirates, or new Empire recruits, or even bounty hunters. A bit force-heavy, but a few good game sessions can be more exciting than the last 3 movies! Lucas hit the nail on the head for awhile, then blew it.
d20 Modern/Future - keep the new D&D system (3.0 or 3.5), play in the modern world, and remove most of the Tolkien stuff (unless you add in the Urban Arcana book, which takes you closer to ShadowRun or X-Files type of world). Tries to work with regular modern people, but heroes will be overpowered. Overly complex, but great art and can work ** if you don't use miniatures! ** Run the game like a storytelling game with minimal props and it works great.
Paranoia - the classic game of constant senseless conflict in a future where logic is broken and nobody knows it. The only RPG I've played repeatedly where the goal is not necessarily to survive but to have your glory moments and then die, as everyone tends to at least once.
Mage: the Ascension - I like the darkness and the flexibility of it. I wish the Vampires and Werewolves (and other misc) from the other White Wolf games would go away. The new Mage: the Awakening, doesn't impress me at all.

'alternate worlds'
Dragonstar - a good attempt at magic scifi. A feuding galaxy ruled by warring dragon empires. Yeah, that's the bad part. Pretty good attempt at magic and tech mixing, deadly firefights, and 'soul-mech' characters allow droids with personality.
Red Star - amazing art, but I'm not sure about the world or the game. Based on the amazing comic of the same name, Red Star has some neat ideas, but seems like the backdrop is constant war. Could be like a Robotech style setting, except an Eastern totalitarian regime instead of vaguely Japanese military one. Sounds pretty good!
Fading Suns - great idea, but the game is dry. Religious scifi future, everyone is somehow related to some deity. Bogs down.
Polyhedron (Dungeon Mag) supplements with Dark Sun & Iron Lords of Jupiter
ShadowRun - I love these issues.
Dark Sun is D&D set on a desert planet, most action taking place in evil city-states controlled by a corrupt leader. Battle for survival, and survival ain't that great.
Iron Lords of Jupiter is more of a 'John Carter on Mars' type of tale, with a super example of humanity travelling to another planet to adventure.

Genres/settings I DON'T love include:
Dungeons & Dragons & Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay. Mostly I don't love these b/c there's a lot of implied racism in Tolkien-esque stuff, everything's Euro-centric, and for me as a Jew it rubs me the wrong way. But I've played many hours in both game worlds and similar ones, and gotta give props to the core genre of them all.

There's also a new creative/collaborative style of RPGs where the rules and space are formed as part of the games, in a team. I haven't played yet, but they sound great and I can list some names:
Universalis - a free form game designed to work in all genres.
Prime Time Adventures

I am excited how the 'in-person' RPG world will evolve. Computer RPG'ing will never stop growing, particularly since it's addictive, profitable, and can be done anywhere there's a computer ... but the face-to-face has it's own unique rewards.

Friendly Fascism RANT

The biggest problem with Fascist countries was the popular oppression required to support Fascism. Now that we have Friendly Fascism, it's a different beast entirely. The oppression is primarily in the form of fear and paranoia, for the effect of 'divide and conquer', so that the rich and corporations and military can interact without public influence or control. This is how the environment becomes decimated, societies ruined, and natural resources squandered.
Is Friendly Fascism effective? Well, Enron's heads will get out w/minimal fines and minimal amounts of jail time for America's biggest swindle in history, so I think it works. Plus look at oil profits and Haliburton's no-bid contracts. Bush is doing great for BIG MONEY.

I don't really have to argue w/someone who supports Bush and opposes the S.American Left-Wing governments, b/c we must be seeing the world so differently there may be no overlap. That person probably believes the American myth of pulling themself up by their bootstraps, rather than being lucky to be born a priviledged person in the most priviledged society on Earth.
Even homeless people in the USA have it better than the lower classes of people in Viet Nam, Thailand, or any other '3rd world trading ally' of the USA. I had never seen things so bad until I went & visited.

The World Bank & WTC see rioting wherever they go b/c their goal is to force poor countries to scrap their social programs so they can squeeze more $$$ out into trade, and link up corporations with military and government. In the long run, this crushes the poor and gives the rich more power and control.

I'm not a pinko, but it's important to see things in terms of classes, b/c the whole world operates that way. Only in the USA are people dumbed down enough to not realize they are at the bottom.

I'm not a Marxist per se, nor is Chavez, b/c neither of us advocates using force to overthrow oppressive social structures. He may claim a right to reclaim state resources by force, or push out foreign capitalists that exploit. I have no problem with that, I'd like to see it done here too, and along with that a cap on the maximum profit in a business.
I do believe along the lines of MLK and Gandhi, that non-compliance with oppressors is the key to liberation. Liberal is derived from liberation, not 'looseness' or lack of reservations. formerly

When I'm at work, in the corp job, and need a laugh..., formerly always delivers a chuckle. The best video site I've seen to date, particularly vs the horrible quality video on Google video. has videos not safe to watch at work, but there are safe ones that just hurt they're so funny. Like this SLAPWAR!

I suggest you register & then you can keep favorites. (Plus, the source isn't hard to decipher & you can dload the video if you want.)

Online Dating - my The-ARI (theory)

Online dating summary, for me:
  • I've emailed to a bunch of mysterious & interesting picture-people,
  • Met a number of people I would NEVER date,
  • Dated a few people a couple times,
  • no 'magic' yet.

My last housemate married a woman he'd met online.
They seem like a perfect match. Met on in fact.

My biggest success online dating:

I met my ex-fiance while waiting for a 1st blind date with an internet woman. HA HA
That's all far behind me now, but it's a good story, no?

So far, no luck off the 'net, but I keep looking.
I think it's bc
  1. I have high standards
  2. I am a unique character
  3. I seek a unique character
  4. I am in no way desperate
  5. I am healthy, intelligent, and upbeat in my life
I keep trying tho b/c I'm very optimistic. Dating for me is like finding the diamond in the pile of coal. Just b/c I've hit 95% coal online doesn't mean my diamond isn't out there.

Maybe I'll meet her online, or offline. Doesn't matter. I don't worry, she will arrive. But I make sure I put the vibe out that 'she' is wanted and I am making a place for her.

Frappr,, and Grayson - 3 goodies

Google takes another shot at making a kick-ass technology 'commonplace' with frappr. I didn't like it at first, but it's an amazing software. Feel free to add me as a friend on frappr. I'm using frappr to meet w/other filmmakers in Bay Area and also to find a ShadowRun group ... speaking of which:

A true gamer-nerd joy was discovering the awkward (ccg = collectible card games), which lets you play a few free games a month -- after you dload their small but awkward softare and learn how to use it. I'm a sucker for the ShadowRun RPG and they made a unique and fun ShadowRun CCG awhile back that I bought too much of.

And for Comic Book fans, a cool short that will never see the theaters, but is available for dload on the internet --> Grayson, a story about what Robin does when the first Batman dies. The most impressive part of the film to me is the really high production values, while the film was shot on a shoe-string budget.

Hugo Chavez on Democracy Now

I don't want to rant today.

I would like you to hear Hugo Chavez interview on Democracy Now instead, either audio or video. WOW!!!

There's also links to a longer Chavez speech (64mb) in NY. Learn about what politics can really be like. Can you imagine a government that focusses on helping people rather than helping businesses? Where the focus is on helping and healing vs profiteering and warmongering? Chavez also touches on Robertson's assassination threat and the upcoming oil crisis.

Damn, I ranted.

Crackworld - I mean, MacHypeFest & IsolationPod love-in

At MacWorld, Jobs intro'd new Macs running on Intel chips. Yawn. They run fast, and basically look the same. The only thing about it for me is it makes my 2005 Powerbook into an old piece of shit. One thing that blew me away is how few Mac users use any KB shortcuts.

Some other goodies at the event, like new software & toys. Waaaay too much IPod garbage. One cool gadget was the ISee which turns your Ipod (any kind) into a small TV & VCR -- can record from Audio-IN's and also output. Rate was approx 400megs per hour.

Jeff G renamed the Ipod as ISOLATION POD. I freakin' love that! I always called 'em I-am-a-Pod, which sorta works, too. What they are is MONEYMAKERs!! Anyway...

I bought an Oxygen 8 from the Guitar Ctr booth to replace my aging & large Alesis keyboard. Had problems with latency on the PC, I bet the Mac is faster.

Getting better at Ableton Live, so might as well have a good trigger. Have to learn some more advanced Mac sound editing software.

Plus have the evolution U-16. Would've preferred the newer 'X' version (of course), but it's a good box. Highly rec a midi-knob box messing w/Midi automation in music software.

Macworld - free entry Priority Code - NO102

Free tickets are available by going to and using "Priority Code N0102".
Basically, enter this code at the Priority Code question, and then on the final page where you select a package, the exhibits pass will be free. Print it out and take it with you.

Thanks to

ShadowRun Slang Hilights

Highlights from the ShadowRun Slang Guidebook

Breeder n. Street slang for a "normal" Human.
Biz n. In slang context, crime, Also "Business"
Chummer n. "Pal" or "Buddy".
Comm n. The telephone.
Corp nl, adj. Corporation. Corporate
Dataslave n. Corporate decker or other data processing employee.
Datasteal n. Theft of data from a computer, usually by decking.
Deck n. A cyberdeck (aka computer). v. To use a cyberdeck, usually illegally.
Decker n. Pirate cyberdeck user. Derived from 20th-centery term "Hacker".
Drek n. (vul) A common curse word. adj: Drekky
Frag v. Common swear word. adj: Fragging.
Hoi Hi Hello. (Familiar form)
Ice n. Security software. "Intrusion Countermeasures," or IC.
Jack v. Jack In, or enter cyberspace. Jack out, or to leave cyberspace.
Mr. Johnson n. Refers to an anonymous employer or corporate agent.
Paydata n. A datafile worth money on the black market.
Razorguy n. Heavily cybered samurai or other muscle.
Street Samurai or StreetSam n. (Jap) Mercenary or muscle for hire. Implies honor code.
Slot v. Mild curse word.
Slot and Run v. Hurry up. Get to the point. Move it.
So ka (Jap) I understand. I get it.
Sprawl n. all urban and suburban surroundings of a metropolitan area (aka metroplex)
System Identification Number (SIN) n. Identification number assigned to each person in the society.
Vatjob n. A person with extensive cyberware replacement.
Wetwork n. Assassination. Murder.
Wired adj. Equipped with cyberware, especially increased reflexes.