Not feeling the luck today, faith for tomorrow

Car Crash #17 from

What a week! Wow.
Difficulties abound -- and yet all this good stuff is around.

Wedding in LA last weekend. My uncle leans over & says to me & my g/f, "Is this your first wedding together? Going to a wedding as a couple really makes you think about things." Despite that 'warning', we still had fun.

As we left LA, I had a last minute fight w/my Dad. Hoping that blows over soon.

Didn't get a sweet property in Astoria, Oregon. Saw this amazing/quirky place with a view of the bridge to Seattle. Wow.

Didn't get the job I was hoping for. Looking at more months here. Don't know how much of this crap I can take.

Corp re-org (but they're saying it's not one). My friends are being demoted, but it's not a 're-org'.

I'm on the sidelines observing. Somehow separate, yet a part of. Coworker friends make jokes, "What do you do, anyway?" and so on. It's the catch 22 of getting re-org'd myself into a job with so little workload. I do the best I can -- I suit up, I show up, I do things I can do, and that's about it. There isn't much leadership coming from the high-paid 'overlords', so we just wing it.

I often do feel like every day here is a day wasted. And then I think, every day here is more than $300 in my pocket! That's a lot of bread, Fred! So when I've got a hefty pile of $, or just can't take it anymore, or somehow master the financial fears ... I'll exit stage left.

It's just one day at a time.


Good news!
Ari and Corinna are engaged!

We are psyched. More info to come...

And ...
We went on a 10 day vacation trip thru Calif & Oregon. It was very beautiful.

First stop was her family's place up in Willow Creek, CA. Good fun. Danced to Dr Squid, & hung out w/C's whole family except her bro.

Then up to Florence to see my Mom & step-Dad, Ed. It was fun also, although my Mom was stressed b/c she thought I felt like had to buy property on this trip. Really I was just looking, 'getting my feet wet' in Oregon.

I was obsessed with duplexes!!! Only duplexes in Eugene and Coos Bay. Saw some pretty sad duplexes in my price range. But was it a learning experience? Oh my! Now I'm considering a single-family home in Astoria, and perhaps Coos Bay.

Then Corinna and I were supposed to start heading down to SF area. Instead we went North (on a Corinna-whim, which she hours later doubted) -- all the way to Astoria. Astoria blew us away. Wow!!!

Saw a few places. I want to buy one. Not sure if I can do it, but considering... The view is ... no words to describe. The place is neat-o. There's another place that was impressive too, but it didn't hit us the same way. We'll see what happens next.

And gotta give props to -- Lunar Boy Gallery and also Shuckers Oyster Bar in Lincoln City. Joyce (amazing sculptor and co-ownder of Shuckers) and Ken were so nice. If you're going thru Lincoln City, go there!!! Possibly the nicest folks I've ever met??? Corinna and I are on their wall of shame now. HA HA

Now I'm back at work. And it isn't that bad! Wow...
Vacations are amazing! I was feeling pretty good for a few days there.

Interview, headache, vacation

Had a 2 hour interview. 2 panels. Thought it went really well. Feel like I was honest and also spoke well. Not totally certain, bc..

I had this 'optical headache' 10 minutes prior to the interview that lasted for about 30 minutes. My eyes became REALLY sensitive to light, and I couldn't see about 20-30% of my field of vision. If I closed EITHER eye, I would see the visual anomaly.

It went away about 1/3 into the interview. I thought I should mention it, but decided not to. It vanished after awhile, but it was strange -- I couldn't see one of the panelists for a good 1/2 of the interview. And more than that, I couldn't read much and people's faces looked very strange.

But the Director seemed to like me, so hopefully I'll land the job? Fingers crossed!!! This would be a far better opportunity than the other one just a few mo's ago.

And now ... I'm on vacation from 8/12 thru 8/21. JOY! JOY! HAPPY HAPPY!
But I might be buying property in Oregon. So what a conflict to buy property AND change jobs at the same time! But what ever -- WHEN is the perfect time?

Blew the ADHD diet, now just trying healthy

Well, I tried Evening Primrose Oil & DHA. Seem to be very powerful in mellowing me out. Hard to do take daily, even w/the pills at my desk.

Ran out of Oats, bought the wrong stuff. Going to buy the right stuff.

Anyway ... skimmed a book on 'Eating for Your Blood Type'. Interesting concepts, I clearly suffered when I ate Chocolate Ice Cream over the weekend. Pain and then exhaustion...

Wow, the diet stuff is really interesting. If it ain't one thing, it's another!!!

My Mom's bday is tomorrow. Happy bday MOM!!!! :)

Getting ready for a road trip to Florence, Oregon, by way of Eugene. Corinna & I are going to look at housing, maybe buy a place. I'm excited AND tripped out. So much $$$. But the way the USA is going (favoring the rich, crushing middle & poor classes), being a land-owner is THE MOST RELIABLE escape from poverty -- and then there's owning a business (plan to do that too), and career success (plan to do that too).

Music that AWakEns & deprograms the mind

Friends, ready for a mental blast?
A wake-up? A 'moment of truth'?

Try just sitting and listening, deeply, to either of these 'songs'.
I've got a bunch so that it won't get boring...

Consider them deprogramming tools.
Carlin's Bullshit Lullaby
Dark Chomsky

All of 'em are at my music page.

Please enjoy, pass them on, and remember -->
Sept 24th, 2005
National Protest against the War!

ShadowRun & Ecotopia

Just played ShadowRun. Aaaaahhh...

Gotta love it!

But now I'm up too late b/c of the coffee I drank.
Damn that corp crack! But the coffee was ... yumm!

Work blows. But no big. I will survive.
"Fuck work up the goat ass!!!"
Anyone ELSE out there think working 40hrs a week is ... dumb?
Why? It's truly unnecessary!

What we need is less meat, less pollution, and less work.
Wanna read about how that can work? (Doesn't mention meat, but ...)

Just finished "Ecotopia" by Earnest Callenbach. It's about Calif, Oregon, & Washington seceding from the uSA. We all joke about it, but it sounds good. Really good. And the book tells us how...

So what now?

Why I love RPG'ing

Edited from a post I placed on the SF Mage: the Awakening Tribe on

I've been a gamer for ages. I really dig it. Favorite genre is scifi, then urban, then magical. (For some reason, the Tolkien-esque fantasy world doesn't jibe with me well, although I've done that too...)

I am upset w/RPG co's that want to sell more & more books even if it hurts the game. (That said, I still have a fat shelf full of RPG books, tho. & I think the 'pirated' .pdf explosion of books is really good for gaming -- but that's another story.)

Many games make Magic feel mundane. Mage by White Wolf 'keeps it real'. I also like the White Wolf RPG style of 'talk it/act it' vs the Wizards of the Coast style of paint a miniature & stick it on a map. The creativity is tasty.

Mostly, I like RPG'ing b/c I get to share in fantastic 'pseudo experiences' with my characters: to go to amazing places, meet amazing people, and truly join in an adventure deeper than any movie, more personal than any book, and with other humans (not a huge fan of PC 'rpg' mimicry). I also relish acting 'not-me' for a few hours.