Dark Knight & A Dark Night

The Dark Knight Rises opening night was marred by a (likely insane) killer shooting an assault weapon in a Colorado movie theater at the audience.

So I have a whole story about my Batman opening night experience -- but gratefully it's nothing that big.
I also have a whole bunch of movie critiques.  Equally 'not that big'.

I don't want some idiot with an assault rifle to hijack my need to comment and critique.  So I'll go ahead anyway, but in the end I'll return to a brief talk about him.

I had a late dinner @ 10pm or so, and as I was driving home around 11pm, I saw the opening.  I thought, 'let me check it out'.  Tons of people were wearing costumes: some Batman inspired, some not, many just funny & weird.  It was excting.  And then I discovered it was completely sold out.  I was about to leave, but a guy walks up and says, "Hey, you want my ticket?  I can't see the show -- I've got a final to study for."  I said sure, the guy ran into the theater, and then minutes later gave me his black wristband.  I walked in showing the wristband, and I was in.

Yep, I got in for free on opening night ~ 5 min's before the first showing.  SO that was *cool*.

Now to the movie.  *SPOILER ALERT* don't read more if you haven't seen & don't want to know yet.

Here we go:

"The autopilot doesn't work" x4
"Only a little kid climbed the wall" and your spine is broken -- oops, you're ok.
"the bomb will go off" ... in 8 months (!!!) - but luckily, with 10 seconds to spare, Batman saves the day.
I'm Batman, I can kick the crap out of hundreds of thugs -- except a girl with a knife...?

I'm Batman -- I can kick the crap out of hundreds of thugs... But a girl with a knife? Ow! I'm stabbed!
I'm Batman -- my spine is busted, would you mind hanging me from a rope & giving me a spinal karate chop? Haya!! Fixed. Thanks.
I'm Batman -- I've got no cartilage, badly healed bones, scar tissue, etc etc. But if I put this leg brace on, I'm fine...!
I'm Batman -- I'll go scare the crap out of baddies -- just let me put this black eye makeup on...
Catwoman -- can beat up tons of guys, but needs Batman b/c ... I didn't really understand what implied motivation was there at all.  And why does he like her?  Isn't she a thief, etc?  That was a bit confusing...
Alfred the Butler -- "I've served you your whole life as Bruce and as Batman, but today I'm quitting because ..." no real reason except to have a fun twist at the end.  Yawn.
The persistent annoying cop -- "My name is blah blah blah", at end a lady asks "why don't you go by your real name?"  B/c it's stupid and I would've gotten teased -- Oh how I'd have loved to have heard that response!  Or at least let him be NightWing & skip ... yech.
Bain -- let's put heavy effects on his voice, then hide his mouth.  Gee, no one can understand his endless pontification?  Is this good b/c the writing is bad?
Bain -- I'm going to leave you here (where, exactly?  Somewhere in a hole), Batman, with a flat-screen and cable TV so you can watch me smash your city, and oops -- there's a convenient healer to take care of your broken spine.  HA HA HA (evil laugh)
Bain -- I'm a big guy, but b/c my master was your master, Batman, I can fight as well as you.  Better even.  Guess you should've used a gun?
Catwoman -- no one can find anything on her, except Batman who can get her info in ~ 5 minutes?
Didn't Bruce Wayne go broke in this film also?  How exactly did that happen again?
And what was with building a nuclear reactor under their reservoir?  Are other companies doing this?!??!

I could say more, b/c I felt that this movie sucked WORSE than the other 2, but that's pretty much enough.

Now to the killer -- there is simply no excuse for opening fire on a room full of theater goers.  Even if the movie has characters who do the exact same thing.  I truly believe that sane folks should not have a problem differentiating films from reality -- but insane paranoid schizophrenics might have a harder time.  Which says to me that so-called "PG" movies with death counts of >100 people may not be good for unbalanced people.
I was saddened and angry that a killer took this stuff seriously -- but I am not running around saying "he is bad" or "he is evil" or anything.  It seems that unstable people who watch violent films might feel like they're getting a message which is encouraging them to do stuff like what's in the movies.  Heck, we already now have real-life 'caped crusaders' running around various cities!!

1 comment:

just_another_dick said...

Finally, someone who thinks the Bat flicks were stinky piles of Bat poo.
I saw them all because I have kids.

That's one of the downsides of having children...you're forced to sit through movies that would otherwise make your head explode.

About halfway through each of them I thought to myself, "Boy, does my ass hurt."

Always a bad sign.